Since last posting I have split with my ex and married my current husband Barry. My children are now 16, 12, 6 and 3 (next week).
My eldest is now in college doing a floristry course after losing her job as a apprentice hairdresser and is hoping to do childcare next year so she can become a child play specialist in a hospital environment.
My 12 year old is now in secondary school where she has settled well, she is described as a key girl in her class and a good leader. She is achieving well academically and above average in most subjects.
My 6 year old is doing well in school too and also has made lots of good friends.She’s frequently invited to parties and really enjoys all her subjects and comes home excited about school.
I started talking to my mum in June after not talking to her in nearly 6 years, and just as I felt things were improving, she was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. She’s undergoing Chemotherapy and will be in hospital over Christmas so we’ll be having an early Christmas with her this weekend whilst she’s out for a few days. It will be my daughters 3rd birthday next Wednesday too.
My youngest is having surgery tomorrow to have grommets inserted, I’m extremely nervous after all our bad luck lately but it’s minor surgery and all should be fine.
Since last writing, I’ve lost 4 more babies, triplets in May – Jasper, Harry and Frøja and Pea-Bee in October. The triplets were buried in front of Poppy and the council were wonderful and donated a plot free of charge so that we’d have somewhere to put our picnic blanket near my babies and spend time with them.
I’ve been diagnosed with Left Ventricular Diastolic Dysfunction, Right Ventricular Abnormalities, Enlarged Left Atrium, suspected SVT and have another Echo-cardiogram next week following a CT scan and 24 hour ecg tape that I’ve not yet had results for. I have also been diagnosed with gall bladder stones after suffering Cholestitus and have to have surgery to remove my gall bladder. I continue to have ongoing back and pelvis/hip pain and worse so since falling down the stairs at the weekend.
I’ve spent a lot of time doing arts and crafts, including making memory boxes for the local emergency gynecology unit and have a regular supply of shoe boxes to make these with from another lady that is a trustee at Daddys With Angels where myself and my husband are also trustees.
I gave up my group Snowdrop Babies but continue to do things for the group, my friend Gemma now runs the group and continues to support grieving families who have lost a baby or child of any gestation or age.
I also held a family fun day to raise money for Northampton Special Care Baby Unit and raised £400 and continue to run the website for it.
I’m now currently in DBT therapy with individual therapy once a week and group therapy once a week as well as homework and phone support in between therapy days. I really like my therapist and the other group facilitator as well as having a friend I already knew who attends making it a little easier for me with regards to my social anxiety.
This week I set myself homework to recognise and let go of judgement although that hadn’t been the initial homework I set myself but a more achievable target.