Poem for the loss of triplets

For The Loss Of Triplets

Silently we sat beneath the nurses gaze,
as news of expectancy was given on that day,
eyes glanced at the nurse and back to one another,
a precious life created from our love for each other.
The weeks passed by in anxious anticipation
appointments, tests, scans all repetition,
reminders of our losses that came before you
filled us with fear that we’d lose you too
But in amongst the fear of all we had to lose
was hopes and dreams and names we began to choose
and then we heard about a miracle inside me
two sacs, possible twins, a multiple pregnancy!
And so home we came in awe of what we’d heard
afraid to share this awesome news, afraid to spread the word
because if losing one was scary, the thought of losing two was worse
and so I searched for information, so my fear, it would disperse
And again, our minds raced with hopes and dreams
of juggling our twins and all their joint schemes
as stories abounded of little ones
who share their mothers wombs
We scoured the internet and of course ebay
for double pushchairs, cots and things for play
and if we’d been shocked by twins at all
discovering triplets left us speechless I recall
And oh my we did believe that we were truly blessed
three babes alive inside this body would surely be a test
but visualised we did of the day you would be here
to share our lives and love and happiness and cheer
We talked about the day trips that we could have
all nine of us in the car following instructions on the sat nav
two adults in the front, six children in the back
or maybe we could put some on the roof rack!
Yes we joked how little room our seven seat MPV had
and talked about how a bigger car wouldn’t be so bad
We pictured building sandcastles on a sunny beach
and paddling in the shallows making sure you were in reach
we dreamt of many things throughout the pregnancy
and if only we had the chance I know we’d come to see
all those dreams fulfilled and more and more besides
of play and school, and daddy’s piggy back rides
but we’ll never know all the things that you’d enjoy
because before we held you in our arms or bought one single toy
we heard the dreaded words and knew you’d gone away
to some far off place instead of home to play
The hurt we felt deep in our hearts and tears we cried
but we’d done all we could and everything we tried
we may have only known you for a short while
but you were here, with purpose, for you did make us smile
And more than anything I know, our love for you is strong
not beaten down by death, nor time no matter how long
we’ll meet you one day, kiss sweet baby lips, smell your precious hair
I’ll hold you in my arms as close as I can and stroke your skin so fair
I’ll listen to all your stories of life in some other distant realm
of flying on the backs of birds and other things that could overwhelm
like fairies and pixies and other magical things where you reside
and still you’ll say, you were all, both here and there, both places you abide
Because our love was strong enough to keep our bond alive
so much love we have for you, that surely you will thrive
and then once again we’ll meet and I will hold your hands
when I come to find you over rainbows, in faraway lands
And until that day, we stand here by your grave
in our sorrow and our grief with trinkets that we save
and hold you in our memories as we try to say goodbye
but we’ll be back tomorrow, for this is where you lie.

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