His new girlfriend

His new girlfriend and her mum have taken to messaging me accusing me of cheating with him or asking if he’s texting to try to get back with me.  The man that raped me! He’s under a police investigation for a serious crime, what would possess them to think he would dare contact me or that I would ever touch him with a barge pole?

I’m accused of lying because after dumping him I begged him back.  There’s some misconceptions that a rape victim can think rationally following the trauma   I didn’t talk to him for days after, in that time I had various thoughts in my mind  but this wasn’t a stranger, it was a man I had grown to love and trust. Someone I didn’t want to believe would ever hurt me intentionally   I thought he loved me, I thought he was the one, I had given all of myself to him.  I was in denial and telling myself he couldn’t have meant to hurt me  it must have been a mistake.

I went to his house a few weeks later to get my things  I made sure he was out at work and I took my daughter and her boyfriend with me so I wouldn’t be alone.

He had my house keys and car keys and I couldn’t risk waiting for him to show up at my house unexpectedly

Last night I discovered that on the day he raped me  his girlfriend had walked home from work with him  they had been talking about getting together and I’m sure having a fondle   She says she told him she wouldn’t be a side chick and he told her the next time he saw her, he’d be single

He raped me when he came in and the next day, I went home.  She visited him that evening and made their relationship official   Completely unaware of this, I was at home trying to make sense of the rape and looking for every excuse for what he’d done to me that I could think of.  Less than 2 weeks after he raped me I tried to kill myself   and a month after the rape  I reported it to the police.

His girlfriend has called me a dirty bitch, a rat, a whore, a slut among other things.  She’s also made sexual comments towards me as though trying to make a pass at me herself.  Both her and her mother have called me a liar even though they’ve known him only 6 months now and already both think he’s untrustworthy. The girlfriend tells me that she hates sex with him, she’d only been with women before him and that he’s a weirdo and how she’s better than him and that he’s punching above his weight with her. Meanwhile she says she’s trying for a baby with this man.

When she tried to dump him  he sent messages begging her and declaring how much he loves her, totally out of character and pathetic   Clearly his guilty conscience is eating him up, he needs the reassurance from another woman to make him feel better about the rapist he is –  Karma.  Weak and pathetic man without morals. He will never be the man I thought he was and never worthy of the love of anyone.

He will never be able to feel connected to anyone as he can never be honest. He will live with what he did forever  because the only person that could have brought redemption and closure was me, and I will never give that to him

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